Happy New Year

This is traditionally the time for resolutions. We want to be thinner, eat more vegetables, save money. All of this is good. Sort of.

I don't do resolutions. I do goals. Goals are attainable achievements with set objectives along the way. Want to save more money? A goal needs to have something measurable. So saving more money doesn't cut it. Saving $100 a month is a goal because it has a measurement. I think the reason that so many people fail in their resolutions is because they don't set reasonable goals, and they don't set objectives. Objectives are those smaller steps that help you get to your overall goal.
Objectives also need measurements. For instance, you might cut out eating out one time a month at first. Then when that is easier to handle, you make the next step. You can't leap from the bottom of a ladder to the top. You have to take it rung by rung.

I've been thinking a lot about mental health and what can influence it. Notice, I said influence, not control. At my latest civic league meeting, we had representatives from the local NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) speak. We talked about how the media portrays the mentally ill. The only time we hear about mental health is when someone shoots up a school. Or here, it has become more of an issue because a state senator was stabbed by his mentally ill son who later killed himself. It's no wonder there is still a stigma about mental illness when all many know about it is from news like this.

So again, I'm thinking about what we let influence our mental health. People can go on and on all they want that violent movies and video games do not lead to real life violence. One sector that pushes that theory are the gamers who play the violent games. One famous person in particular who says that was on a highly popular science-fiction show. That show (and the many shows that came after) has been cited by several scientists and astronauts as the inspirational influence in their career choice. Ironic. So games and shows don't influence behavior except when it does. 

Not everyone who plays a violent video game or watches a violent movie performs a violent act. The population would be decimated if that were the case. However, there are people who are influenced by the images of violence. Think of it like a genetic predisposition. People who have a genetic predisposition toward cancer are more likely to develop cancer than a person without the genetics. It doesn't mean they will get cancer, and it doesn't mean that the other person won't get cancer. It just means that they are more likely.

But I don't think that's the only issue. We as humans learn by watching others. We observe others performing a task or saying a word, then we attempt to duplicate it. Our speech patterns are determined by the people we hear, even as adults. Don't believe me? How many new words have you learned this year? Twerk or selfie? Where did you hear that? The people you associate yourself with or the media you watch/listen to. We change our language to better communicate with one another all the time. We are influenced. If you don't think television (a visual medium) influences people, then why is it such a big deal for more minorities to be featured? Why do you think more minorities are not featured?

So I challenge you to think about what you are allowing to influence you this year. What are the television or net shows you are watching? What are the themes? Do you feel uplifted or inspired after watching? Did it make you laugh? Are you rooting for a character who is trying to do the right thing? Are there characters who are trying to do the right thing?

Now, I am very much a goody two shoes. I don't curse. I don't watch sex or violence. I don't listen to music that degrades anyone (man or woman). I no longer watch crime dramas/procedurals. If someone dies of a crime, I don't watch the show any more. I don't want to get used to a person dying due to a criminal act. I think porn is a terrible, terrible influence on men and women.

But I'm not saying this from a goody two shoes perspective. I'm saying this from a compassionate, human perspective. Be kind to yourself this year. That includes your mental health. Think about what you allow to influence you. If you are okay with bullying, mean behavior, keep watching The Bachelor or any other reality show that prominently features women. If you want something better, well good luck with that. I haven't found anything decent either. I actually dropped cable in order to focus on studying and because most tv is garbage now. From the few digital channels I get, it's very old reruns of I Dream of Jeannie (wow that's a bad show) and Mr. Ed. No wonder I am turning off the tv more and more.

So if you have resolutions this year, think about using objectives with measurements to meet your overall goal. You'll be much more likely to succeed. And if you need a resolution, take this one. Take care of your mental health like you would your physical health. Pay more attention to what you are consuming. Don't be afraid to turn the tv off or turn the channel. If it doesn't inspire you or make you happy, let it go.